Tuesday, September 9, 2008

little box

for as long as i can remember
i wanted to be famous.

i remember watching nadia
over and over and over
until i memorized the words.
then i would practice my cartwheels
in the backyard
and do her exercises in my room
every morning, all the while
picturing the movie
that would be made about me one day.

in 3rd grade
i declared that i would be
either an
artist, actor or author.
by 6th i had begun work on my first book,
and plunked the hours away
on that old typewriter,
writing of a family crossing the plains.
my class fed my ego by 
begging me to read it aloud,
whenever the teacher indulged me.

next i was inspired by bob ross
and his joy of painting.
yes, the afro "happy little painter."
i got myself his book and a set of paints,
and cried myself through
each painting
because they never looked quite like his.

by junior high
i was ready to be a rock star.
i started my own singing group
called prosperity
and was determined to
make it to the top,
starting out with those first little gigs
we had a the rotary club
and the town christmas show.

in high school
it was lynn hill who inspired me.
i began rock climbing 
and thought maybe,
just maybe someday. . .

and all these hopes and dreams
along with the others
i folded up and tucked away
into a little box.
and with the birth of my first child
i put that box up on a high shelf
out of reach.
and decided it was time
to help someone else
reach some dreams.

but that box goes unforgotten,
and no doubt i'll
pull it out from time to time.

and in the meantime
i will simply wallow
in being famous
to just 2 little people. . .


13 comments:

Susan said...

Dearest Jennifer Banner Prokhorov, you are famous to me, too!

christine said...

being a mother is, i think, one of the noblest ambitions. enjoy every minute of it.

Christine said...

You are amazing. I love your thoughts and your cute little ones. Hey, we missed you while everyone was out here. Maybe next year...

Mindi said...

I think you could still be a rock star... you already have two back up singers!

d/b/c/m said...

i think you still may just make it with your fabulous photography!

Melissa said...

i've never been able to quite put my finger on what you remind me of...or how i would describe you. now i know - you are an artist/author/rock star/outdoorsie/unique and cool MOM.

your writing is eloquent and beautiful, you dress super cool, i still wear every piece of jewelry i purchased from you, your photographs are always so artistic and i always enjoy reading about how you interact with your girls.

loved this post.

Liberty de Surville said...

How could you have known that you one day truly would be famous...from your BLOG!!!!! i have friends here now that check it regularly. i have the convo about once a week--"did you see the one that..." lately its all about Mila and the red balloon. also, i second what melissa said. do you wear your camera around your neck? how are you always so ready? it seems you have the perfect way to freeze any moment in life. also, my camera's broken so i have to buy a new one and i want yours. what kind is it?

Amanda said...

Jen
Please never stop writing. So often you say all that I wish I could. You are gifted. I love seeing your beautiful family. I missed seeing you in Utah. I hope we'll get to all be together again someday soon. Thank you for inspiring me and all you know.

OnGod'sErrand said...

I have loved watching you dream all those dreams over the years. And I think that you may not be famous, but your are great! That is even better. You have so many wonderful talents and I know they will be multiplied because of your nurture them. But, truly, being a mother is the most noble and greatest of all.

mer said...

so beautiful. I know we hear it so much but it's really hitting home to me how little time we have with our kiddos when they are young. pretty soon they will be big and we'll all be able to take our boxes down and become rich and famous. But then we'll miss our littles right?..and then think of how the most perfect days of our lives were when we were frazzled and they were young.

Shannon said...

Hey, you are famous to many... remember ILP and our trip out to that crazy little city with the parade that WE were the stars of? And our oh so wonderful talent show? That is just one event, but just in my travels and experiences with you, you have touched the lives of many my friend. You are great. THanks for sharing.

Amy said...

That was a beautiful little entry in your blog. And photo might I add. I would say you are also famous in my eyes... photographer, painter, writer, jewelry maker, mother friend...

happyfamily said...

That is a lovely photo.
And knowing you pre-kids, I'd like to say that all of the other aspects of "you" help make up the cool mom that you are. Lucky them, lucky you, lucky all of us.