Friday, January 30, 2009

the winner is in

and now i'm going to get personal.

and i don't know
what camp you belong to,
but i personally decided
5 years ago
that i would try my best
not to rub aluminum under my arms.
now i know they can't yet prove
it's carcinogenic properties;
but i also know they used to eat DDT.
and i'm much happier safe than sorry.
and thus launched my 5-year-quest
to find a non-aluminum deodorant
that actually didn't repel friends.
***insert here***
sincere apology for those near me
when i was using the ones
that didn't work

i can hardly count
the number of deodorants i tried.
and i want to thank whole body
for their liberal return policy
that greatly helped me
in my search.
i want to thank a dear friend
with the initials JF
who tipped me off
on what would be 
the long-sought after
result to all my experiments, 
who, when asked if it works, answered:
"do you smell me?"

and now for the final winner,
which will surprise you
just as it did me
(unless you're one of the ones
i couldn't contain my elation
and already shared it with):

the crystal.
yes, that hunk of salt.
it is genius.
and i'm still in shock
that i was such a skeptic for so long,
having never tried it until now.
brilliant as sliced bread,
effective as the lethal stuff.
and i would even eat it.


Anonymous said...

Good to know! I have had the same dilemma. I love your blog- my brother, an old friend of yours, told me about it. It inspires me daily. -Ashley Struck McGregor

Rebecca said...

Todd and I tried that out back when we first got married - I think we picked it up at Trader Joe's and thought it a good idea. It did work... now I can't remember why we stopped using it. Now that you've reminded me I'll have to go pick another one up:)

OnGod'sErrand said...

You should take a poll. Where do you get the "Crystal"? Can I just rub salt under my arms??

anj said...

so the addidas brand was a flop??? where did you get the crystal brand?? here in the states? btw, loved reading all the blogs. iespecially loved the kitchen and the children's library! so fun! i wish i had a girl...

jolie fleur said...

Jen, thank you for sharing. I've had the same thought about the perils of anti-perspirant but I've never been brave enough to stop using it. Thanks for publishing the results! I think I'll have to give it a try. :)

Amy said...

Ahhh! Jeremy conviced me when we married ten years ago to use it, and I swear it doesn't work for me, I use it, waver and stink, but I feel like Im making a better decision even if its stinky.

Davian said...

I bought it and it does work, but I read some scary things online about it being aluminum but more toxic. Who knows...the Internet. Lately, I just use perfume, specifically anything by Chantecaille, which seems to work better than the others, for some reason. Probably has more endocrine disrupters...There's just no way to win, is there?