Tuesday, October 6, 2009

note to [part of] self


i got to see you again
at that last doctor's appointment.
one last time
before we meet face to face
in a few short weeks.
i saw your little baby profile
that looked so distinctively different
from the last time i entered your world.
you're a baby, already.
and you're still a boy.
i'm still trying to get used to the idea,
of trucks and trains and balls.
i'm still hoping
it won't be too long after we meet,
that you'll feel like mine.
the girls are anxious to meet you,
whom they most affectionately call "bratik"
("little brother")--
and i do hope we eventually come up with
a better name than that
(though i often have my doubts, still).
your sisters often talk about
where you will sit, or sleep,
or what you will eat,
or when you will run. . .
and heaven knows we need a prince around
to star in our fairy tale reproductions.
i was quite proud of you
for proving the doctor wrong,
who thought you were upside-down,
or should i say, right-side up.
thank you, for making my life easier,
at least in that regard.
you do keep me up at night,
but i know you're only preparing me
for what's ahead
in the coming weeks, months. . .
at the same time
i revel in every squirm
of your little tiny body inside mine--
feeling your hiccups,
your kicks in my hip bone or rib cage--
every time i count my blessings
that you are still with me,
that you came to us so easily,
and that you will soon
be an integral part
of our little family.
that within a month or two
i won't even remember
what life was like before you.
i look forward to it.
to having you in my arms
and welcoming you into this world.
until then, my son. . .



11 comments:

happyfamily said...

Amen.

Davian said...

it's amazing how quickly you can fall in love with that little profile on an ultrasound. we can't wait to see what a baby boy prokhorov will be like.

lovely lindsay said...

still reading your beautiful blog and following along on all of your adventures. i hope you don't mind!
+++
i loved this. this letter to you boy. congrats. i can't wait for you to snuggle him up.
love, lindsay

Ann said...

So sweet. Hope he comes easily and soon enough.

DeAnn said...

So sweet. After 3 girls, I adjusted to a little boy quickly and quite nicely. You'll love him!! Until he turns two...:)

Amanda said...

Jen please publish your sweet poetry complete with all your paintings and such. I'd buy it in a heart beat! I just sent a tiny package today. I hope it reaches you safely. Much love!

Des said...

I am so happy for you.

sweetpeainFrance said...

It was SweetpeainFrance who said 'I am so happy for you" Not Des!!!!! the system seems to have a glitch in it! Take care.

OnGod'sErrand said...

It truly is a miracle....I'm so thrilled you cherish it.

Sue said...

Brought me to tears with this one. Though I admit I'm a pretty easy mark. But...it WAS beautiful.

=)

Liberty de Surville said...

it's been so long since i've felt that sweet feeling of life inside. the mad rush once the baby is out and apart of us all at once...the afterward phantom feelings of movement inside like the belly misses the company. nothing is more confusing than holding the baby in your arms and still feeling him inside you when sleep is a distant dream! happy due date.