Friday, February 18, 2011

tooth


she killed me last night.


she killed me with her words--
with her startling, shocking, surprising discovery.

"mama, andrusy hit me and now my tooth is. . ."
(and she paused, unsure of the word to use)
". . .leaning!"

"what are you talking about babe?"
"look!"
and she gave her bottom middle tooth a yank.
"let me see that," and i grasped it
and gave it a little wiggle.

oh, no, please no. . . let it not be. . .
this day has not come upon me. . .
and dread, anxiety, sadness, no. . . despair
filled my soul
as i saw my baby, my first baby
slam the door on her babyhood.

i had long told her this day would happen to her,
she knew exactly what it meant.
her brow furrowed for a moment,
when i told her what was going on,
and then her emotion turned to excitement,
as she ran to dad to tell him the news.

while in the meantime,
that punch in my stomach
lingered all evening,
while there was buzz all around
with tooth fairies and tooth fairy dolls--
even avi insisted on sleeping with hers--
talk of what goodies the fairy would bring.
but all i could think about,
despair about,
all i could see in my mind's eye
were buck teeth,
big girls,
little high heels,
awkwardness,
blue eyeshadow,
tears and boys,
terrible taste in music and style,
attitude,
identity struggles. . .
and all else
that lay ahead for my little baby girl.

last night
she killed me,
with that little wiggly tooth.

6 comments:

SweetpeainFrance said...

They are not ours. They do not belong to us. We are the archers and they are the arrows and wherever they fall as adults then that is what we must accept and even expect.

Some dental lessons combined with importance of keeping our baby teeth as long as possible to help our adult teeth live longer is perhaps a lesson to be forthcoming? And the tooth fairy? She's got a lot of work elsewhere!

Oh how I grievd with you!

DeAnn said...

I hear ya!

Ann said...

I know. My oldest is asking about bras and deoderant. Ugh.

controllingaspicyuniverse said...

Mine just lost his first on Thursday. He now speaks with a wee little schwooshy whistle and looks like a Jack O Lantern and I don't think he's ever been cuter. :)

cynthia said...

I'm not there yet with my boys but I can picture myself in your shoes feeling the same fluttering in the pit of my stomach.

OnGod'sErrand said...

Another rite of passage for mother and for daughter. Cherish these moments...they are what life is made of.